Celebating a life well-lived

Betty Lou Austin Nease was born July 21st 1926 and passed away July 21st, 2008. She was exactly 82 years old. She had brain, lung, and neck cancer. Luckily, she only suffered for a few months as most people suffer for years. She lived in California until 1973 when she and her husband, Bill Nease, moved to Phoenix, Arizona. She gave birth to four children: (in order from oldest to youngest) Sherilyn, Nancee, Gretchen, and Daniel. She worked in retail for over 30 years but her first and foremost career was being a wife and mother to her children.

Bill and Betty had been friends in high school but their friendship was put on hold when Bill signed up for the Navy and he left. A few years later, he came back on a leave and asked Betty out on a date. That first date quickly turned to love and they were married 6 weeks later. They were married for 64 years, celebrating their 64th year anniversary last July 1st. Their marriage was an amazing one, no doubt a hard marriage, but amazing nonetheless. By the way, Bill is a veteran after serving in the Navy Seals for numerous years.

Betty was a very classy woman; she taught her children how to stand up for themselves and how to uphold good standards in society. She passed on to them traditions that her mother and father had passed on to her. I LOVED coming to visit her. She only lived 2 minutes away barely. I loved hearing her wise advice and oh how wise she was. She knew when to express her opinion but she also knew when to keep her mouth shut. Her and I could talk for days and we have. When my mom was looking for me and I didn't answer my phone, she would usually call Betty to ask if I was there. I brought all my boyfriends over to meet her and they would always walk away saying, "I LOVE that woman!" Growing up, she instilled values and manners in me. She was the woman who taught me how to set a table beautifully. She instilled, in me, a love of homemade centerpieces even though she never made them herself. Growing up, whenever she set a table for the holidays and birthdays, I was always right there next to her helping her. If I put the fork on the wrong side or the cup in the wrong place, she would slap my hand but not say anything, allowing me to figure out myself what I did wrong. Now, out of habit, I occasionally will slap anyone's hand when they set a silverware in the wrong place. She loved to cook more than bake. She loved Frank Sinatra. She loved Bette Midler. She loved vanilla ice cream. She loved pie more than anything. She never liked driving on the freeway. She didn't have her license until she was 30. She got married at 17. She had Sherilyn, her first daughter, at 18. She always encouraged me to take a step back in my life and look at what I'm doing. Am I happy in what I'm doing? She taught me that life does not need to be extravagant. She was an amazing homemaker and an even more amazing wife. I hope I can portray her as a wife. I've learned a lot in my past relationships and know that my next relationship will be even better and soon, my relationship with my future husband. I was able to talk with Betty about anything, sometimes she knew more about me than my parents did. She was the one who first suspected anything about my deafness. She told my parents not to send me to a deaf school; she told them to send me to a public school and not depend on/learn sign language. She wanted me to talk instead and be independent out there. I'm sure as heck glad my parents listened to her!

Imagine spending 64 years with your spouse and then having her/him gone. You learned how to live with your spouse 24/7 for 64 years and now having this peace, this quietness all of a sudden. It is really, really hard for Bill. He cries occasionally, which is perfectly understandable. Betty and Bill are not members but Bill has been very much interested lately in our church. Tonight, for dinner, the missionaries taught him the plan of salvation. He seemed so interested, asked questions. "Where is she?" "Does she have a choice in the spirit world to accept the gospel?" "Can I talk with her?" It was all very sweet, but at the same time, very sad. I'm soooo thankful I have the gospel in my life. I'm sooo thankful I'll be together with my family for eternity, with my spouse and children for eternity. I'm looking very much forward to that. I'm so thankful for this church, for all the things we have in our lives. I'm very blessed to have a wonderful and supportive family. I'm very blessed to have amazing friends who showed up at the funeral service as a surprise for me, to support me physically. I'm very blessed, also, to have friends who were concerned for me and called me once in a while and sent me cards. I love my family ward; they brought over dinner so we wouldn't have to cook, brought over cards, and offered any sort of help they could provide. I pray that I will be able to obtain the blessings of exaltation with my husband and family. I pray that Betty will accept the gospel up there and Bill, too. I know Betty will be around forever in my heart...she is my grandma, after all.